Nightmares

Hi guys,
just a quick one as I'm in and out again.

Thanks for the comments about genetic testing and stuff. To be clear, the test I was talking about was the blood test to give the *odds* of having problems - not the needle in the womb test that’s conclusive. That would be the next step.

Thanks to everyone who pointed out we are in the low risk group (Daemon, Diane is 29). Still, doesn't stop you worrying though...

Interesting that Christi picked up on lack of control over her thoughts. On a couple of occasions I've noticed that Diane has had a nightmare and shaken herself (and me) awake. She has never done this before. When I ask her about it she says she can't remember what it’s about.

Maybe there is a link?

Anyway got to go, will blog over the weekend and do another poll.

TaTa

Tim.

Morning Sickness Report

I almost forgot. I think Diane has stopped being sick!

Well she is still queue occasionally but a far as proper hoying it’s been about three days.

Maybe we are in the clear!

Fingers Crossed.

Midwife summary and genetic testing thoughts

Finally! We saw the midwife on Saturday. It was good to at long last get some fairly straight answers to questions (not from you guys off course, but from the medical system I am going to entrust Diane and the new baby to). To be fair the midwife was very good. She did the souped up microphone thing on Diane’s tummy again, but she still didn’t find a heartbeat. Diane’s blood pressure was normal and she is in good health.

We got to ask questions (some that you guys have suggested) and the midwife asked us some too.

It seems though; Diane and I have very different views on genetic testing. I would like them done, partly to give us a clue as to the odds of having a problem, but mainly because we get to have 2 scans - a dating scan and a full scan.

Diane on the other hand does not want to have the tests. If there is a problem she feels she will have trouble coping with the decisions we will then have to make. Do we bring a child into the world that will not have a the full quality of life we should all have the right to expect, or do we have a termination and deal with the emotional consequences that it would bring?

For me the decision would be an obvious one (the cost emotionally would be rather more difficult to deal with). I see it like this. If you are in a car heading towards a cliff, does closing your eyes make the cliff go away?

After talking about it briefly I explained to Diane why I thought we should at least have the tests. My main focus was on the fact we get two scans and a fairly accurate EDOB. However in the back of my mind I can’t help worrying about what will happen if these and subsequent tests prove positive.

Diane is thinking about it. Still, we are trying to be positive – it may not even get to that stage.

What are other people’s experiences with this? Did you get the tests done? And how did the results turn out.

Your thoughts on the subject would truly be appreciated.

Have a great week!

Tim.

I think I'm addicted to blogging

Seriously, we had the midwife appointment on Saturday (See above post). Due to the chaotic nature of our weekends we had to go straight out to an overnight stop at my brothers.

As I was driving down to my brothers I caught myself being quite irritable with Diane and generally in a bad mood (A number of incompetent drivers got hand signals that they don’t teach in the Highway Code!)

Now I’m not generally a moody guy, so I tend to pick up on these events and work out what got me into a mood. I couldn’t find a reason, in-fact the only mildly annoying thing that happened that day – apart from the ineptitude of other road users, was that I couldn’t blog the midwifes visit first!

I tell you – classic addiction symptoms!

I will have to do cold turkey this week. That and the fact I'm away on business most of the week, don't worry I haven't abandoned you, just could be difficult posting for the next day or so.

Tim

Tips on telling your husband you're pregnant – from someone who knows.

Hi Guys,
I posted this on pregnancyweekly.blogspot.com and thought it might be quite usefull and logical to place it in my blog too. Hope you don't mind :-)

When Diane told me she was pregnant, she said “Tim, I’m pregnant” then handed me a stick with a blue line on it. I said the right thing that I thought I should. Not what popped straight into my head.

Don’t get me wrong I was chuffed to bits – we had been trying for 5 years. And yes we got the constant nagging “When are we going to have a granddaughter then?”. I know parents mean well but I don’t think they see the pain behind the smile and reply “we’ll see”.

But I digress

Tips on telling your husband – from someone who knows.

1. For god sake make sure he’s the first person to tell. God forbid he finds out that you told someone else first (or hears it from someone else)

2. Don’t tell him the stick you just handed him is full of pee.

3. If he responds with something other than you expected don’t freak, it will be a big shock to him too.

4. You may find he becomes a little over protective, I did. Humour him, it’s his baby too and he is probably finding himself as a bit of a spare part at the moment.

5. You may know you’re pregnant, but you will feel different, senses changes in yourself. Until the scan the only evidence he has is a blue line on a pee stick.

Hope this helps

Midwife stuff

Had load of ideas for a post today but I've spent so much time following up on comments and browsing other peoples blogs that its all gone out of my head.

The midwife is going to ring Diane tomorrow. She is going to arrange an appointment over the weekend. Seems strange that a midwife would visit us on a weekend but still...

So when she turns up I can begin the intereg... questioning. Any thought on what type of thing I should ask?

Also, in the UK we have a service called NHS direct - basically a telephone service and website that dispenses medical advice. I was trawling their website about stuff on pregnancy - to no avail. If you are a smoker or have a drug problem and want info the website is great. But for stuff about pregnancy? Forget it! It has a little bit of info on how conception occurs. Jesus, I know how conception occurred! What I want to know is the process over the next 9 months, what we can expect in the form of medical and support service. Anti-natal, scans, midwife appointments etc.

Apparently it’s a national secret. They could tell me - but they would have to kill me.

I know I can go on a bit about this but, when you have a diary that is 95% full for the next few months you need to know when appointments you want to attend are likely to be...

Still maybe I will get to speak with the midwife over the weekend.

Speak soon

Tim.

New poll

Hey guys,

Quick one on the results of the poll. 57% say that the old wives tales do annoy them to 43% say they are happy to believe them.

My thoughts on a new poll, sex of the baby and whether we should know, also whether we should let every one else know. Diane and I are both agreed that we want to know. But Diane does not want to let anyone else know. Me? I don't mind who knows. I don't really understand her thinking.

So, why would anyone not want to know if they are having a boy or a girl? And why would you not want everyone else to know?

I will base the poll around that.

As usual, your comments welcome.

Goodnight.

Tim

Quick One

Sorry guys. Don't have time to write the post that I thought I would do tonight.

Have just returned from an appointment in Scotland - to find I'm due at a meeting on the south coast of England at 09:00 tomorrow.

Will post tomorrow night

Cheers

Tim.

Report from Skye

Hi guys,
as I mentioned last night, we got home from Skye OK. As expected it was just the break we needed. Thank-you to Peggy and Callum of the Dunvegan Hotel for looking after us.

We even managed to go to the Three Chimneys restaurant - voted one of the best places to eat in the world! If you ever go to Skye you will want to give it a try. It was fantastic (book well in advance though!)

I foolishly thought Diane was over the morning sickness as she had two whole days (well one and a half) of not being sick, but it returned with a vengeance tonight. Maybe I should start listening to what you guys are telling me, it’s gonna be a good few weeks yet and may end up being months :-( .

Diane seems to have entered a new phase just now with tiredness being quite a predominant feature in her moods. She slept most of the way up to Skye and when we got there she just wanted to go to bed. I thought early night, didn't expect this? :-) . But apparently an early night means just that these days. :-( Hmmmm.

So, Skye was excellent, the weather was as unpredictable as it comes and we were treated to some outstanding views, food, hospitality, etc. Back to work and a busy time it is for me too.

Midwife Update
Apparently the midwife should have called tonight to sort out when Diane should go to see her, but she didn't. There just doesn't seem to be any organisation to all this. You would have thought there would be given how they have had like… forever to get a system right.


We will get it sorted though.


I will speak to you tomorrow and respond to some of the many comments you have written, also I will have some thoughts on my new poll of the week.


TTFN,

Tim.

I'm back from Skye!

Hey, I'm back from Skye. Tired and grumpy after 9 hour drive, so not going to post proper tonight.

Just wanted to say thanks for all the comments and voting. You made my night to find I have some new (and old ;-) ) friends out there.

Thanks a lot and a special good luck to MariaResaj - I truly hope you get the happy end you are praying for.

Speak to you tomorrow.

Goodnight.

Poll - Old Wives Tales

As you can see from the side bar opposite I have added a poll to my blog. Let me explain a little about the question. Over the past few weeks we I have noticed a massive amount of superstition and what I like to term 'Old Wives Tales' surrounding pregnancy. I first came across it when we found out Diane was pregnant. I was so chuffed that I immediately went round telling everyone (she was barely 5 weeks at the time). People were happy for us of course but some people stared at us in horror when they found out she was only 5 weeks. On further investigation I found out that it was considered 'Bad Luck' to tell everyone before 14 weeks.

Bad Luck, BAD LUCK? Are people fucking crazy?!? The best news I have had for years and people want me to keep it to myself? Yeah Right.

I latter found out that 1 in 5 pregnancies miscarry before the 12 week point. This in its self would be a reason to not tell people, but to call it bad luck? Well that’s just madness.

Anyway over the past few weeks I've been hearing more and more of this crap, everything from the timing of the nursery to when to bring a pram into the house. As you may have gathered I think its all bollocks, but what do you think? Vote in the poll, drop me a comment or write me an email I don't mind I'm off to the pub, then I'm getting read to go to Skye.

I will speak to you all when I get back.

Have a great weekend!

Tim

**** Update about my thoughts on when you should tell people you are having a baby ****

I've been thinking about it tonight and this occurred to me:
If you are pregnant, you tell people before 14 weeks and then you miscarry everyone knows about it.
However, if you are pregnant and you don't tell anybody because you are waiting till the 14 week point. If you miscarry, no one knows you are pregnant in the first place and would not know you have miscarried.
Therefore the anecdotal evidence will point to the 'Bad Luck' by the very fact they new you were pregnant in the first place.

If you get what I mean...

Better Doctors Today

Went to the doctors in our new area today, what a difference! Friendly and informative staff etc. So different compared to Ripon. We both had a check up (I'm not doing badly for a fat bloke) and Diane made a new appointment with the midwife. Still confused as to when the first scan is but Diane can sort that out with the midwife.

Some people might think I’m making a big deal about this 1st scan thing, but look at it from my side. I have nothing to go on about this pregnancy thing except a blue line on a container full of pee and an increasingly more irritable, tired and vomiting wife! I need to see with my own eyes! Some proof if you like. I know it sounds daft but that’s just the way it is for me.

Anyway, spoke to my Aunty Michele today; she was really chuffed for us. Will get to see her at her daughters (My Cousins) 18th. Probably let the rest of my side of the family know then.

Morning Sickness report
No sickness so far today. That's two days in a row. Maybe this phase is over?

****Update****
I was wrong about the sickness, Never mind...

Work tomorrow, then a long weekend in Skye.
If you are an enterprising burglar waiting to break into my house - beware, its booby trapped.

Cheers

Tim.

Oi, Don't just point and Laugh. Contribute!

OK I've made a few posts now, made a few mistakes, hit the learning curve at the perpendicular. And I know some dads have taken a look at this blog, some have made encouraging remarks, most have just pointed and laughed like small children laughing at a fat kid trying to play sports.

NO ONE HAS YET DROPPED A COMMENT WITH SOME TRULY USEFULL ADVICE.

This is why I wrote this blog! And there are dads out there with useful information and tips, they are just keeping it to themselves!

I don't charge to read this blog, no paypal begware, not even Goggle add-sense! I would ask though if you have something useful to add to this site.

Share it with us!!!

I may just thank you.

Tim

Work went well today.

Work went well today. Don’t know what happened, but I managed to whip up enough meetings to potentially net half a million pounds worth of business. Realistically what happened was the culmination of quite a few months work all dropping in at once.

But what I like to think is that subconsciously I have re-doubled efforts now I will soon have an extra mouth to feed.

I know every parent thinks and will say this but "I am going to give my kid the best start a kid could ever have". But I really mean it, and it starts with making sure we have enough money to provide...

So from now on I will make a Herculean effort to bring the business in (Not that I don't already if Richard (My Boss) is reading this)...

Link to some technical stuff (Vitmans week by week development, etc)

The other day a lady from pregnancy weekly dropped a comment on my blog. I took a look at her blog and it occurred to me that other pregnancy blogs were.. well... more technical than mine.

You won't find technical stuff in my blog. You might see me ridiculing some old wives tale my mother-in-law insists "Carries some weight" or some comedy moment that is pregnancy related or even thoughts and feelings of me and Diane as we go through this.

I may link to technical info such as the above lady's blog

pregnancyweekly.blogspot.com

Although I don't guarantee it’s correct.

Morning Sickness Report
To my knowledge Diane wasn't sick today. Although she did feel sick whilst we were in the car. Once I threatened her that she would have to walk home if she was going to be sick she stopped complaining - though she still looked queasy. Good thing really, didn't fancy having to stop on the hard shoulder to set her down ;-)

She is very tired, and I have incurred her wrath a number of times already this evening.

Good Night.

Tim.

1st Scan - Not!

Aaarrgh!!!!!

Apparently when the Doctor tells your wife to book an appointment with the hospital to see the midwife it’s not for the first scan - even though everything I've read says you have the 1st scan at 12 weeks.

Instead, I took half a days holiday so that me and Diane could have a 6 minute conversation with a dreary woman called Becky. Becky it turns out is the area midwife, but to be blunt she told us nothing new and couldn't even answer straight questions like - so, when do we have the scan then? Waste of fucking time!

She did shove what can only be described as a cross between a microphone and a small cosh into Diane’s stomach, claiming she was "Looking for the babies heartbeat". But nothing.

Gutted...

Absolutely Gutted.

We will have to wait until we have registered with a new doctors in our area to set up a scan, which should happen on Wednesday.

Still looking forward to going to Skye though.

Morning Sickness Report
Yes its still happening. Both straight after lunch and straight after dinner. I kept out of the way.

I'll speak to you all just before Skye.

Till then - Have a great week!

Tim.

Preparing for the 1st scan, Skye and back to Jamacia

Diane's gone up to her mums tonight because her 1st scan is going to be in Ripon, we live in Cleckheaton which is about a hundred miles round trip. Due to a messed up system for alocating new doctors when you move to an area it's got to be done that way.

Noticed her skin was quite pale and spotty today (Quite normal I'm told). She didn't like me pointing it out to her though!

So, she gets a day off sick to go to the doctors and I have to take half a day leave and do a hundred mile round trip to be there. Things we do just to be *seen* to be good husbands...

That said I'm secretly looking forward to the scan, it will stop me thinking "Is she realy pregnant or is this a ploy to make me more consideate?". No, women aren't that devious are they? ;-)

We are planning a long weekend up to Skye next week. I know Diane's had it quite hard realy over the past few weeks so a nice relaxing trip to the Dunvegan Hotel on Skye might cheer her up a bit. Also gives me a chance to get to the Talasker distilery and cheer myself up with a bottle of their finest malt! Yay.

I guess we will come back from there with tales of Seals and good food and all the good stuff you usally get on a trip to Skye.

Finaly a comment from a collegue of mine about calling the baby Ivan. He says he can know guess what we were up to during the hurricane itself! Well not where we stopped as this picture will no doubt prove. It was the biggest sleep over I've ever been to!




Speak soon.

Tim

I'm Gonna be a Dad!!!

Well, this is a suprise to me. After trying for a number of years, Diane came down stairs a couple of weeks ago, looked at me sheepishly and said "Tim, I'm pregnant" whilst holding up a bizarre looking object with a blue line on it - which I later found out it was full of her pee!

So, now all the key players (Parents, family, friends neighbors, etc) are informed I guess its time to let the rest of the world know.

Status:
11 Weeks pregnant (we think)
Est due date - 17 August
First scan - Monday

How has it been for Diane:
Well she keeps throwing up is scatterbrained and generaly knackerd at the end of the day. Generally I don't think she's enjoying this one bit - although she is very pleased we are having a baby.

How its been for me:
Feel a little bit of a spare part realy. Feel quite useless when she throws up at night. I try to help and ask her if she is ok, to which she normally replys "No I'm fucking not ok!" or "Just piss off!!!"

Ah well.

Thoughts for names:
If its a girl we thought Rebecca Lucy. A boy (and if I'm realy honest I would like a boy) we think Ivan Anthony. The reason I like Ivan is because we recently went to Jamaica - Unfortunatly Hurricane Ivan decided to pay us a visit at the same time! So its a big memory for us in 2004.

Being a bloke. I'm a bit thick on the subject of pregnacy so in the true spirit of tim jacksonness I decided to bone up a bit on the internet and a trip to the local Borders (Any excuse to get a Coffee from SB's). But I found this site particularly usefull www.paternityangel.com . Gives you an insight to how the baby develops and answer all the questions you were to scared to (or didn't no you needed to) ask.

I'll keep you updated probably after the 1st Scan. I may include a scan picture if you ask nicely ;-)

Till then keep well

Tim.